Hey guys... sorry for a dead blog.

I've been kind of preoccupied with exams for the past year. However... I'm back ... well kinda... I'm back writing but I won't be blogging much. Ironic? Well Not really, I found a website called Wattpad that's pretty cool. Okay... so I love that site... You can read awesome stories and even start up your own one there. What is there not to love ?

Also, I've started a new story there. I hope if anyone happened to be bored or blog walking could drop by at Wattpad and maybe ... just maybe search for pl4evasmiles and the story Dreamland wanderer might just pop up.

Yup... PL4EVAsmiles is most probably me. I would really appreciate it if someone would drop by there and give my story a little peek O.O so that I could have some comments on how to improve myself.
If anyone of you want a story dedicated to you please feel free to leave a comment here, on the shout out box or even on Wattpad ... Hey I'm cool with it .

Just tell me, what kind of plot you would love to find yourself in and I would leave a story for you somewhere ... maybe here ... maybe on Wattpad. Who knows ? Maybe I could even write an entire  book featuring you as the main character? HAHAHS ... That would be fun I guess :)

What do you think ?

Desire... What are they to me? To me, they meant warm clothes to brave the chilling autumn, a fresh and warm loaf of bread, a roof over my head and also, most importantly, friends and family by my side. I desired all that I do not have...I...

"Ah!" I winced when a jagged rock stabbed into the tender part of my soles, breaking me free of my reverie.

Just when I thought that I had gotten used to the dull ache of pebbles under my feet, this stone had to break me out of my illusion. Merciless monsoon wind whipped at me as i wrapped my frail hands around my emaciated body. The thin fabric which I had scavenged from the dumpster  was not enough to provide me with any warmth. Glancing up at the sky, I saw the dark clouds rolling in and the sky was a menacing hue of grey.

I had better get back to my cardboard shelter soon. 

Out of the blue, a boy clad in a warm woollen sweater and had a pair of sneakers on his feet ran past me. I stopped in my tracks. My eyes widened in desire and my head turned to look at the boy run past me. Long after the boy's figure disappeared, I was still looking in his direction. The shoes and the warm sweater, how I longed for these wonderful clothing that would put an end to days and nights of endless shivering. At that thought, another bout of bone chilling wind attacked my body, sending shivers down my spine. 

Glancing at the storm clouds again, I decided to head back on my way with a sigh. 

The cold wind whipped my body over and over again, i could barely feel my fingers as they were rigid from cold, i could barely smell the rubbish dump beside me as my nose must be frozen. That was what I thought. A warm delicious smell of newly baked bread was blown in my direction.

"Growl" I immediately clutched my stomach while casting a furtive glance around ."Growl" there it was again, the retched sound that I could never escape from. As if in a trance, i walked towards the bakery.

I pressed my hands onto the glass of the shop and glanced in. Shelves and shelves of pastries, bagels, croissants , tarts and more. I swallowed. How i wished I had the courage to run in and steal every single loaf of bread to fill my ever rumbling tummy. I gave myself a mental slap, I am poor , hungry and the desire for food is overwhelming but I will not risk the harsh hand of the baker. The baker with his eyes like that of a rat frightens me. I tore my eyes away from the window and had to calm the desire in me. It was like walking with a lion, it could pounce on me anytime and anywhere.

I sighted a trash can in the distance.  I ran towards it fervently, hunger taking over my instincts. I was taken aback by the foul stench that assaulted my nose the instant the lid of the trash can was opened. I ransacked the contents ,removing away the inedible plastic and paper bags and scavenging for the rotten apples and mouldy bread. Then i came upon it. A loaf of bread. Without hesitation, I crammed the bread into my mouth. The bread turned sour in my mouth. I kept on chewing and biting though I wanted to gag though I wanted to cry. The bread in the bakery that makes my heart sing how I wished that i could savour it in my mouth rather than this piece of bread turned bad.

A flash of lightning momentarily illuminated the darkened shy, I finished the remaining of the bread and ran straight for my cardboard home nearby. Just as i entered my house, the rain started coming down in fat droplets of rain. Slowly, the rain grew and it was beating down rapidly on the piece of card i call home. Across my cardboard shelter, I could see a house brightly illuminated begging for my attention. Just like it was predestined, the cardboard caved in and I had to run for shelter at the canopy that hung over the window of the house opposite. 

The children inside were simply wearing shorts and a tee-shirt. They were playing inside the house which radiated warmth. I could feel the caress of the heat just by placing my hand on the glass. How  i wished that i was one of them, one of the happy children who could live in such a warm house.  The thought of it sent me shivering with desire. For an entire hour, my eyes were glued to the glass. 

Though reluctant,  when it finally stopped raining, I ran. I intended to run as far away from the housing estates as possible but I was too slow. They were out. The children were out to play and so was the resident bully.

"Filthy rat!You better come here!" Sena hollered after me. I tightened my jaw and walked faster and further pretending that I had not heard anything. "Why you ... " 

I could hear Sena's exasperation, I know what was to come. She pushed me roughly to the ground and gave me a resounding slap across my face.

A crowd was forming around us. They were all laughing, laughing at me.

"This will teach you to never ignore me you street rat," Sena sneered as she took gave me a good kick at my chest. The air was knocked out of my body so hard  and so fast that my sight momentarily blacked out. 

"Good job Sena." the rest of the people cheered. Then. they came at me. They tore at my hair and on my clothes. They punched and they kicked , leaving me at the centre of their tenacious attacks. The rain of punches and kicks painted my skin black and blue. Each attack was much more terrifying than the last. When they were all tired, they stopped but Sena did not fail to give me a parting gift. A warm , clear and transparent liquid slowly made its way down my face. Before I could wipe Sena's spit off my face. she stepped on my arm.

"Next time, come when  I call you,"she spat.

My eye was swollen but i could still see their diminishing backs into the distance. They were laughing and patting each other on their backs. I wondered how long had it been since a person patted me on my back and draped his arm over my shoulder like a friend would. Why do I always harbour over the impossible? 

It had been three months since my parents abandoned me. It just took me 3 months to harbour over warm clothes, a filled stomach, a roof over my head, friends and ... a family. Why would no one love me? Why a simple desire of mine like love could never be satiated?

As I lay on the cold and wet pavement, tears streamed  down my cheeks. I lay there unloved and filled with desires that would never be fulfilled.


  

In everyone’s lives there are always a set of memories – the sweet ones, the bitter ones, the uncomfortable ones and the list goes on. These wonderful moments are always kept either in you or in an album. Treasure them because they are worth it. I know as I speak from experience.

I opened my eyes slowly.

The world was full of light at first, everything was so bright. Slowly but surely, the world came into focus. The room was…bright. The walls were white and the light from the ceiling lamp seemed to be illuminated. A faint scent of antiseptic wafted in the air. It was the hospital. However, why was I there? Then it struck me. Who am I? Why am I here? What happened to me? Numerous questions regarding myself flashed through my mind but most important one of all was… What is my name? I cringed. The thoughts were making my mind hurt. In a flash it dawned upon me, I could not remember anything.

The door to the ward swung gently opened. A plump lady entered, holding a jar of water in her hands. Her initial expression of worry changed into a mixture of relief and happiness once she saw me. However, her face changed after knowing that I had lost all of my memories.

The doctors came and conducted numerous examinations on me. It was concluded that I had lost my memories and it was still a question mark as to whether it was permanent or temporary. The people who sat around me all had different expressions- some were devastated, some were trying to just grin and bear it and some were already crying inconsolably.

The next day those same people came to visit me. They told me who they were. My mother, my father, my siblings, my grandparents and my best friends all reintroduced themselves to me. I could only give a faint smile and a nod to acknowledge them and no more than that. Seeing that I still had no recognition of any of them, they took out a box.

Out of the box came many photo albums.

I was shown a picture that depicted a scene of a smiling girl in a primary school uniform holding up a cheque saying two hundred fifty dollars only. The plump lady that I saw the moment I opened my eyes who was also my mother sat on the bed beside me.

“Look. This was you when you were eight. You were awarded the Edusave Merit Bursary as you did well in school. You demanded that I took a picture of you with the cheque. You were smiling so widely as if you were on cloud nine. It was your first time but was definitely not your last,” she told me, her eyes filled with pride as she did so. A small knot formed in the depths of my heart. It was such an uncomfortable feeling.

Then, another picture was placed before me. This time, the small girl had grown a little, she had on a pair of thick glasses and was holding onto a Primary School Leaving Examinations (PSLE) certificate. This time a middle-aged man approached. He was my father. “This was taken when you received your results. You were so depressed a few days before, thinking that you will fail,” he smiled “but the results turned out fine and you wanted to take down this picture to remind yourself to always on the bright side. The uncomfortable feeling grew. However, I bit my lower lip as I tried to recollect my memories to no avail.

Another picture was shown. This time the girl was smiling through her tears. She had on a bright orange t-shirt with trainer written on it. My friend came up to me. She grabbed my hands and said “This was when you were 15. You attended a trainer’s camp. During the camp, you shared weal and woe with all the instructors and fellow campers. When it was time to part, we all cried. The instructors gave a speech that made everyone cried, it was so memorable.” The uncomfortable feeling grew even stronger now but I still had no recollection.

Everyone showed me a bunch of pictures and each time the uncomfortable feeling would grow stronger. It showed the growth of the small girl. There were black and white pictures of a baby, a faded one of a toddler, a one when the girl was in a graduation gown and many more. There were pictures of the girl crying, smiling, laughing, jumping, swimming and many more. However, it was the last picture that grabbed attention.

This one showed the girl in her mid-twenties smiling blissfully in the arms of a dashing man. I asked my mother “Who is he?” Everyone fell into pin drop silence. Finally, my mother said timidly, “He was your fiance. He was supposed to marry you a month ago. However, on your wedding day, both of you were met in a car accident. He used his body to protect you. You fell into a coma but he wasn’t as lucky. He…” and she trailed off.

My hands that were holding onto the photo album started to tremble. The uncomfortable feeling grew so much that it overwhelmed me, causing my entire body to tremble. A splitting headache exploded in my mind. Flashes of images, sounds and smell zoomed through my mind. Tears streaked down my cheeks as I tried to regain my composure to no avail. The images never stopped until I reached a point when there was only darkness.

Once again I opened my eyes to the lights in the room. The only difference was that this time, the room was packed with people who had on a worried expression. I smiled at them as I slowly got up. This time I remembered. Although I had gotten back my sweet memories, I had also gotten back the bitter-sweet memories that would haunt me for the rest of my life. Despite the bad memories, I would treasure them all the same as they are all part of me.

In the world of entertainment, appearance is everything. Your perfect reflection will be the path to your success. Without it, you are nothing. Nothing at all.
I am Susanna Lewis. The most beautiful and the best hollywood actress in the entertainment world today. I have everything. The looks, the career, the beau and the wealth. That was until the accident...
Waking up refreshed and energetic after my eight hours of beauty sleep, I took a long look in the gargantuan mirror in front of me. As I admired my own beauty, a smile crept gingerly up my face. Perfect. If you do not know, every corner of my house would have mirrors of every size inorder to enable me the easy access to my wonderful reflection.
After an hour of preparation, I was ready to set off on my date with my boyfriend. Taking a quick glance at my diamond encrusted watch, I was horrified to see that I had only a mere thirty minutes left to rush to my date. I raced out of the door and headed towards my car with the celerity of a cheetah. In no time flat, I was already reversing the car out of my garage.
I took a furtive glance around my surroundings to ensure that there were no police officers, or worse, paparazzi nearby to catch me red-handed in speeeding. I stepped on the gas and was racing away from my house to my date.
Even with all that impatience to want to reach my destination as fast as possible, I could still take the time to view my reflection in the front view mirror. Appearance is everything. This caused my downfall. I had not seen a truck heading towards me at break neck speed as i was too preoccupied with my own image. When i took notice of the truck, it was already too late. I was on a collision course with the truck and if my calculations were correct it was only a matter of seconds before I experience the impact. I simply sat at the driver;s seat like an imbecile.
When the car crashed, everything went black.
Next thing you know, a piercing shriek had penetrated the silence of a nearby hospital not far from the accident scene. It was my shriek. Scars that ran across my face had completely disfigured me. I was hideous. I threw the mirror that was in my hands across the room. Burning hot tears welled up in my eyes, blurring my vision. When I tried to blink them back, it had only resulted in those droplets of grief streaking down my cheeks, leaving a sting in its track.
My agent called, my boyfriend too. No words of comfort or reassurance was given. One wanted to terminate the contract, the other, the relationship. They did nothing to improve my situation but had only ecxacerbated it. " Superficial humans," I cursed under my breath when I put down the phone. However, who was I to say that of others when I'm exactly what I had called them- superficial.
I was hospitalised for a few day. The moment I opened the door to my house what I saw was my horrendous face. The impact was too great. Like a berserk woman, I grabbed anything that could be found and started smashing all the mirrors-never wanting to see my own face again. When the deed is done, I sat down and hugged my legs together.
My reflection is now my enemy.

"7.30 p.m. already and not a single customer. How it makes my day."Peggy grumbled sarcastically under her breath.

That night, she had taken great pains to don on a skimpy dress that seemed to show a little too much of a cleavage. She had really hoped that today's business would be good but the day ( or should I say night ) had just seemed to disappoint her.

She was only sixteen and so easily had she given up on life.

A middle-aged man approached her and she smiled, finally some business. However, as the man drew closer and when she could finally see clearly the identity of the man, her smile died. This was Wang Lung, the notorious man who had been known to bring girls like her to hotels and torture them until they would scream for mercy.

"You. Come. With. Me." he demanded. When he saw no signs of complying on her face, he grabbed her arm and forcefully dragged her away with him. Of course she wouldn't obey, she kicked and screamed for help the entire way. She had lost hope in life but she did not want to die, not yet. No one stopped to help her, the most they did was to throw disgusted looks her way.

But he stopped.

He stopped to save her.

A man clad in a white suit grabbed hold of the arm that Wang Lung was holding her with. " I want her. Give her to me and you can have this." the man stated as he thrust a wad of notes infront of Wang Lung. Wang Lung looked Peggy then at the pile of notes. Thinking that she was not worth the sacrifice, he took the money and strode off.

The man in white enquired "Are you alright?" Peggy stared transfixed at his face. The features were beautifully shaped just as if it was chiseled out of jade. All she could do in response was to nod. After knowing that she was fine, he smiled. The neon signboards against the dark nigh sky all dimmed in comparison to his bright smile. His smile glowed like the sun. If she had not known better, she would have thought that he was her angel.

" You are a student aren't you?" he questioned " You shouldn't be doing such a thing at your age. Wher's your house? I'll send you back. Go back home and concentrate on your studies." he continued like a school teacher. Hearing his words, her tears cascaded down her cheeks involuntarily. She was a drop out and was also disowned by her parents. Even if she had wanted to, she could never go back home much less say go back to school. She cried as she explained to him her conditions.

Grabbing her hand, he coaxed " Then come with me. I'll be your guardian angel from now on. I'll teach you how learning, life and living is great. You should not waste your youth like this. " Upon his words, her tears flowed even more. Ever since the day she was disowned, no one had cared for her as much. Of course she went with him. He was her angel after all.

Under his wing, she reignited her passion for studying and started secondary school all over again. This time she will pass her exams with flying colours and continue to proceed to the universities. With "Angel's" help she will. To him she might still be a student but to her he was much more than the man she has fallen in love with. He was the angel that had guided her back to the light.

Lessons are very important things in life. They not only teach you how to do well in life but also how to survive in this dog-eat-dog kind of world. you would never have guessed what my lesson learnt was, could you?

The creases on my forehead deepened as I furrowed my eyebrows . I was in deep thought. Why was I racking my brains? Of course I would be racking my brains for the solution, would you not do the same if you were thinking of a way to tell your girl friend you wanted to end the relationship? I would never beat about the bush but I am also someone who is as helpless as a baby infront of tears. All those conflicting thoughts were colliding with one another in my head, giving me a terrible headache. Very well, I would have to tell her the fact sooner or later, might as well end our suffering sooner.

I appoached her with a face devoid of emotions. " Kelly..." I began. She whipped her head around and flashed me a smile that would melt the hearts of many. With that smile I was assured that beyond any doubt, she would definitely forgive me and we would still be able to remain as buddies due to her happy-go-lucky character. How wrong was I, women were never meant to be trifled with .

"I sorry, but we have to break up,. I do not love you anymore." I finished from where I had left off. This was for the best, Kelly would definitel understand.

The sides of her smile gave a little twitch. Although her smile never changed, the aura that was given off had taken a drastic turn. Before her smile was as warm as a parent's loving embrace, now, it felt as if a gigantic ice monster trying to crush the breath out of me. What she said next is still able to send shudders down my back just by recalling it.

"I'm going to make your life so miserable that you would wish you were never born." she hissed, with a pretentious smile still plastered onto her face.

She was true to a words and I did experience living hell. She passed rumours about me everywhere. Facebook, blogs and even at my workplace and all of these rumours would be extremely cutting. Soon, the entire office was abuzz with all the latest rumours with concerns to me. People would discreetly point their fingers at me and would atrat whispering to each other in hushed tones and would finally burst out in a fit of giggles. The worst rumour was that I was a gay and it was because of that I broke up with her. That was not all, hooligans would drag me to a random dark alley and would start pulverizing me until I was unable to stand.

I had to go to extreme means to just hide from both the hooligans and also the snide remarks cast by my colleagues. After an entire year of struggle, I was left alone. I figured that she was probably bored from tormenting me any longer and therefore had stopped trying to beat me into a pulp.

The essential life-saving lesson was that hell has no fury like a woman scorned. I guess I would never figure out what women really think depp down as I feel that women are complicated creatures that i would never understand. Do you?

NEED to prepare for EL EOy so I would need to Practcice! NO!!!! Anyways i will try to write essays on this blog :'( if its not good pls comment that it is not good politely.
Thnx :D